|
50k Fat Ass Fun Run in the Badlands Bend, Oregon Including 9, 13, and 22 mile options This is a fun run to turn your post-holiday fat ass into a BAD ASS!
Fun Run Route Description and Distance Options
The Route Description Located east of Bend, off Highway 20. The course consists of a loop in and around Smith Canyon and over Cinder Butte (directly north of Smith Canyon) in the Horseridge/Badlands area. The course is 85% desert dirt road and 15% ATV trail (over the Cinder Butte) and is a great winter running spot dry or snow packed. The course will be marked with flags. Start with 2 miles out and 2 miles back on dirt Road 70 (the road you drove in on off Hwy 20), then counterclockwise 9 mile loop. After the out and back, the rest of the course is only on the 9 mile loop. Once you return to the start/finish area, the basic loop is as follows: up and over the Cinder Butte on Road/OHV Trail 43, Left on Road 70, Left on Road 40, Left on Road 70, Straight on Road 43 and back to the start/finish. Detailed Loop Description: From the start/finish area, you'll climb OHV Trail 43 west over the Cinder Butte, down the NW side (there is no other trail but 43 over the Cinder Butte, be aware that the trail splits on top of the Butte, but comes back together for the descent off the west side). The first intersection you'll come to after the descent will be Road 70, go left on Road 70. Continue on Road 70 until it merges with a dirt Road 40. At this intersection, go left on Road 40 (NOTE: You'll take an almost 180 degree left turn on Road 40). You'll now be heading east and toward the mouth of Smith Canyon on Road 40. You'll run up Road 40 approx. 4 miles, across 3 cattle guards until you come to a "Y" in the road (just past the 3rd cattle guard). Go left at the "Y" and quickly another left as it merges with Road 70 (the same road you drove in on to the start/finish). Take Road 70 back to Road 43 and to the base of the Cinder Butte to the start/finish area to complete the 9 mile loop. High point the Cinder Butte at 4358 feet (great views). Low point is 3680 feet at the mouth of Smith Canyon.
Distance Options The Bad Ass 50k 31 miles. Starts with 4 mile out and back plus three 9-mile loops. Traditionally run the first 2 loops counterclockwise, with loop 3 run clockwise. BEST SUITED FOR: Those who have been training consistently already and are prepared to throw down a 50k training run. You have your priorities straight. You definitely aren’t scared of snow, ice, or sleet and probably have a pair of running shoes with sheet metal screws already in them. Yep, you’re a Bad Ass. The Tight Ass Twenty-Two (formerly known as the Timid Ass Twenty-Two) 22 miles. Starts with 4 mile out and back plus two 9-mile loops. Traditionally loop 1 counterclockwise, loop 2 clockwise. BEST SUITED FOR: Those who have been training semi-consistently, but are a little scared to step up to Bad Ass stature. Upon completion, you definitely have a tighter ass, you’re just not a bad ass yet. Get your priorties right and go train more or risk looking “fat” in your favorite “shortie” running shorts come summer. Bronco Billy Note: The Colonel and I decided to change the name of this distance, as throwing down a 22 mile run in the middle of winter is not necessarily a weak endeavor, just not quite full blown Bad Ass status. Sorry, we're ultra runners and you are judged by high-mileage standards. The Huge Ass Half 13 miles (half marathon). Starts with a 4 mile out and back plus one counterclockwise 9-mile loop. BEST SUITED FOR: Those who have slacked over the holiday and only worked on expanding their ass and need a jump start. You’ve been procrastinating to begin training because “it’s so cold and snowy in Central Oregon.” After completion, your ass is still pretty big but it might not jiggle as much as before. The Numb Ass Nine (aka The Super Slacker Super Dave Nine Miler) 9 miles. Skip the 4 mile out and back and run the single 9-mile loop. BEST SUITED FOR: This route was first coined by Super Dave Thomason, Bend's ultra super slacker runner. This route is for those who have done nothing but sit on their fat ass over the holidays. Your ass is numb from too much eating, drinking, and merriment. You’re often overheard mumbling “it’s cold outside” proceeded by a trip to the fridge for left-over pie or a cold brew. This distance won’t help tighten up your ass much, but it may be less numb (depending on the weather). The Bad Ass Doggy-style How bad is your dog’s ass? Bring ‘em, pooches are welcome. Note, it is the desert, so, the only water will be at the aid station (e.g. your car) and eating snow (if there is any). Leashes are optional out here. It's pretty dang laid back. However, if your dog is a freakin' spaz and can't obey any voice command, please leash your mutt...nothing is more annoying than a dog owner who makes constant excuses for their dog's poor behaviour when it's their fault in the first place for not training them. Enough said. Now, if your dog knows voice commands...RELEASE THE HOUNDS! We have quite a bar set for dogs. Seattle ultrarunner Justin Angle's dog, Piper, currently holds the 50k course record OVERALL (that's right, over humans) with a 4:36:40! Now that's one Bad Ass Dog. Giddyup!
|
